Backyard Bounty

It isn’t much, but given that I’m a novice gardener harvesting a small, weedy plot…

Basil, cucumbers, zucchini, and tomatoes

I’m pleased.

If You Want Something Done, Give It to a 10-year-old Girl

One time a speaker said that if you want to get something done, give it to a ten-year-old girl.

They’re enthusiastic, diligent, hard-working, determined, industrious, earnest…not yet consumed by the boy thing or makeup, yet able to tap into their childlike energy and accomplish a lot.

As my kids have one by one turned ten, I’ve thought how true that is.

They’re willing to work hard. They’re creative. They enjoy the challenge.

Just last night, our ten-year-old daughter announced that she would like a day when she can cook all three meals. From scratch. All by herself.

So we agreed. Right away.

Last night she set her alarm early in order to make pancake batter for her papa. He gets up before the rest of the household and heads off to work early.

She woke at the first few beeps of the alarm, headed downstairs, made a big batch of batter and flipped some pancakes for The Belgian Wonder, who gladly and gratefully gobbled them up for breakfast. She set aside the batter until the rest of us lazy bums rolled out of bed.

When we were assembled in the kitchen, she poured and flipped (and even added chocolate chips for her mama–strangely, the kids don’t like chocolate chips in their pancakes), and soon had a tall stack ready to devour.

Which we did.

After clean-up, she planned out lunch. Pizza bagels. We didn’t have bagels, so we were going to bike down to the grocery and pick some up. Then I showed her a recipe for pizza crust, and she used that instead. For lunch, then, we had personal pizzas.

For dinner, she was going to make Mexican food, but I had a ham that needed to be cooked. So she altered the menu. Tonight, with no help from adults, she’s going to make ham, corn-on-the-cob, macaroni-and-cheese, and cut up a watermelon.

She also helped me rearrange the table and chairs on the screened-in-porch, unloaded the dishwasher, cleaned the upstairs bathroom, and vacuumed her bedroom.

Do you have any projects that are weighing on you? Need some envelopes addressed, stuffed, licked and stamped? Have a junk drawer (or two, or three) to sort through? Need someone to pull weeds or color-code your clothes closet? Want someone to inventory your freezer or clean out your vegetable bin?

Find a ten-year-old girl and hire her for the afternoon.

Or she might just do it for free. 

Because, unlike most of us, ten-year-olds still see work as fun.

When We Text, Are We Really Communicating?

Oh, boy, I really want to write a follow-up to yesterday’s post and explore it a little more (in shorter, digestible, Web-sized tidbits, just like we like ‘em, right?).

But I have to post this urgent link. In fact, I hope you can still access this article from the Wall Street Journal. It’s entitled, “Thx for the IView! I Wud [heart] to Work 4 U!! “ (by Sarah E. Needleman, p. D1, D4, The Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, July 29, 2008).

Quick! Click over fast and check it out, because I think you can only get it when it’s the current paper (Tuesday).

If you can’t get it, here’s a summary:

The article talks about young people accustomed to text-messaging as their primary mode of communication using emoticons and text-shorthand when sending thank-you notes to prospective employers. An “increasing number of job hunters are just too casual when it comes to commmunicating about career opportunities in cyberspace and on mobile devices.”

These faux pas can be “instant candidacy killers because they hint at immaturity and questionable judgment.” It’s too informal, according to some staffing specialists. It’s unprofessional. Hastily composed thank-yous sent via mobile phones suggest “an on-the-fly mentality, as if the applicants haven’t taken time to think about why they want the job or why they are saying thanks.” The potential employer is still digesting the meeting when the note appears on his or her Blackberry.

Thanx!

One time a candidate rushed to “friend” the potential employer on her personal Facebook page.

Moves like these can feel as if the candidate is infringing on personal space.

But it may simply be a cultural divide, reflecting an age gap in technology use, says an author named David Holtzman.

Others see a shift in workplace communication, as “textspeak” is gaining acceptance. Soon, they think, it will be perfectly appropriate. Text messages are, after all, short and to the point.

Thank you notes, even if sent electronically, should be composed in a formal style, like a traditional letter would be. This reassures the employer that as a new employee, the candidate would interact similarly with clients–avoiding textspeak and sticking with a professional tone and style.

So this article brings to mind a few broader questions:

• How often do you text?
• When we text, are we really communicating? If so, how effective is it?
• Describe heavy texters’ ability to compose thoughtful, grammatically correct pieces (essays, letters, blog posts). Does it improve their communication, does quality decrease, or does it have a neutral effect on their formal work, being such a different format?
• How do abbreviations and emoticons in a blog post affect your opinion as a reader?
• Any predictions on whether or not texting will have a positive or negative effect on writing in general? Has it already?

 

The topic is now open for discussion. The first 10 commenters will receive credit for 20 free AT&T text messages and a chance at a free iPhone.

Not really.

Maybe I’ll send you a book, instead. And some stationery. And a pen.

Wud U luv that?

I [heart] U all!!!!

Online, Are We Really Reading?

The New York Times had an article in Sunday’s paper entitled “Literacy Debate: Online, R U Really Reading?”

It reminded me of the post I wrote about the Atlantic’s article, Is Google Making Us Stoopid? In fact, the author of this NYTimes article quotes from that Atlantic story.

Trying to represent all sides, all angles, and all opinions, the author tapped into both professional (professors, teachers, reading experts, Web-proponents, and researchers) and lay people (parents and kids) who have formed a range of opinions.

The article leaves us having to form our own conclusion.

Here are a few callouts:

As teenagers’ scores on standardized reading tests have declined or stagnated, some argue that the hours spent prowling the Internet are the enemy of reading — diminishing literacy, wrecking attention spans and destroying a precious common culture that exists only through the reading of books.

But others say the Internet has created a new kind of reading, one that schools and society should not discount. The Web inspires a teenager like Nadia, who might otherwise spend most of her leisure time watching television, to read and write.

Good points on both sides. Interesting thoughts. Here are some more:

At least since the invention of television, critics have warned that electronic media would destroy reading. What is different now, some literacy experts say, is that spending time on the Web, whether it is looking up something on Google or even britneyspears.org, entails some engagement with text.

Few who believe in the potential of the Web deny the value of books. But they argue that it is unrealistic to expect all children to read “To Kill a Mockingbird” [Ann's note: This book title should be italicized, not in quotation marks; a detail I wouldn't normally point out but decided to, since this article is about reading ability, which is closely related to editorial ability.] or “Pride and Prejudice” [Ann: ditto.] for fun. And those who prefer staring at a television or mashing buttons on a game console, they say, can still benefit from reading on the Internet. In fact, some literacy experts say that online reading skills will help children fare better when they begin looking for digital-age jobs.

How about these two quotes on the “pro-book” side:

“Whatever the benefits of newer electronic media,” Dana Gioia, the chairman of the N.E.A., wrote in the report’s introduction, “they provide no measurable substitute for the intellectual and personal development initiated and sustained by frequent reading.”

Here’s the second:

“Learning is not to be found on a printout,” David McCullough, the Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer, said in a commencement address at Boston College in May. “It’s not on call at the touch of the finger. Learning is acquired mainly from books, and most readily from great books.”

Oh, here’s a third toward the end of the article, arguing for books:

Critics of reading on the Internet say they see no evidence that increased Web activity improves reading achievement. “What we are losing in this country and presumably around the world is the sustained, focused, linear attention developed by reading,” said Mr. Gioia of the N.E.A. “I would believe people who tell me that the Internet develops reading if I did not see such a universal decline in reading ability and reading comprehension on virtually all tests.”

An in-the-trenches perspective from a girl who loves to read online:

Nadia said she preferred reading stories online because “you could add your own character and twist it the way you want it to be.”

“So like in the book somebody could die,” she continued, “but you could make it so that person doesn’t die or make it so like somebody else dies who you don’t like.”

Nadia also writes her own stories. She posted “Dieing Isn’t Always Bad,” about a girl who comes back to life as half cat, half human, on both fanfiction.net and quizilla.com.

Nadia said she wanted to major in English at college and someday hopes to be published. She does not see a problem with reading few books. “No one’s ever said you should read more books to get into college,” she said.

Really? No one’s ever said that? That’s strange. The College Board recommends a starter list of 101 books.

Not that I’m showing my bias or anything.

Because I have to concede that people in the article do make a few good points for the other side–that the Internet gets some kids reading who otherwise wouldn’t be:

One early study showed that giving home Internet access to low-income students appeared to improve standardized reading test scores and school grades. “These were kids who would typically not be reading in their free time,” said Linda A. Jackson, a psychology professor at Michigan State who led the research. “Once they’re on the Internet, they’re reading.”

But will strong readers on the Web end up stronger than their book-reading counterparts?:

Web proponents believe that strong readers on the Web may eventually surpass those who rely on books. Reading five Web sites, an op-ed article and a blog post or two, experts say, can be more enriching than reading one book.

“It takes a long time to read a 400-page book,” said Mr. Spiro of Michigan State. “In a tenth of the time,” he said, the Internet allows a reader to “cover a lot more of the topic from different points of view.”

Zachary Sims, the Old Greenwich, Conn., teenager, often stays awake until 2 or 3 in the morning reading articles about technology or politics — his current passions — on up to 100 Web sites.

Also, the article pointed out that reading and researching on the Web is helpful for people with reading difficulties because the way that visual is mingled with text. A reader with dyslexia has found reading on the Internet more comfortable than trying to dig into a book.

The two main sides are arguing different strengths, it seems. Reading on the Internet is a different kind of reading and for a different purpose. I don’t know that it’s bad–it depends upon the sites the user is visiting whether or not the content is valuable from a reading standpoint–but we must encourage our kids not to replace all reading with what they can glean from short articles on the Internet, or even, hee-hee, from a blog. They need to understand that the writing and research that goes into most Web articles falls short of that which is required for a good book.

Sure, we can appreciate how fast we can look up information on the Internet regarding stain-removal, the birth of a baby panda, or Olympic long jump records. We can get up-to-date opinions and read stories people are churning out on their blogs and other spaces. That’s not bad.

It’s just different.

Far different from reading a book. The sustained attention required to dig into a thought-provoking novel, say, or an in-depth, heavily researched historical book, is a good skill to develop. We’ll gain information from these sources, but also develop skills of reasoning and focus.

The article comes back to the importance of developing skills best acquired from reading something longer and more complex than snippets on the Internet:

Some scientists worry that the fractured experience typical of the Internet could rob developing readers of crucial skills. “Reading a book, and taking the time to ruminate and make inferences and engage the imaginational processing, is more cognitively enriching, without doubt, than the short little bits that you might get if you’re into the 30-second digital mode,” said Ken Pugh, a cognitive neuroscientist at Yale who has studied brain scans of children reading.

The Web is here to stay. It’s useful, it serves a purpose, and the information and ideas being published are helping us in countless ways.

And to further muddle the conversation, I’d like to point out that we can access and read entire books online at places such as Project Gutenberg (over 25,000 titles available for free on their own site and over 100,000 available through affiliates and partners) and Christian Classics Ethereal Library. With resources like those, we can read a book, and be reading it online.

I wonder what the experts think of that?

The article caught my eye because I believe strongly that we should be reading and taking in ideas and stories in book form. Like David McCullough said in the excerpt above, I’m partial to great books because they engage me with the grand conversation over space and time; they reveal ideas, struggles, values, and questions I may not be exposed to on my suburban cul-de-sac while surfing the Web.

But I’m also a heavy Internet-user and appreciate what I can find here.

And I see that my kids are growing up with a comfort level online that needs balance. A professor was quoted in the article saying this:

“Kids are using sound and images so they have a world of ideas to put together that aren’t necessarily language oriented,” said Donna E. Alvermann, a professor of language and literacy education at the University of Georgia. “Books aren’t out of the picture, but they’re only one way of experiencing information in the world today.”

Children assigned a topic to research for school must use multiple sources. They can’t rely exclusively on Internet research. They need to find magazine articles, encyclopedia articles, Internet articles, and…books. The other sources may provide the sketchy skeleton that they need to figure something out, but many books, good books, more than one book on the same subject, can provide the meat.

Feel free to utilize the fantastic resources at our fingertips right here online, but please don’t forsake books! Sometimes I wonder if our love of the Internet is tied in with our love of speed. We appreciate quick solutions and fast replies. The Internet feeds that. We usually get what we need within seconds.

Books are slower.

I propose we slow down enough to engage with time-tested texts that offer us much more.

Today, I was reading aloud to my kids at lunch.

Sometimes I read something as short as a headline from the newspaper, or a few lines from the news summaries.

Sometimes I share an interesting tidbit I find online or summarize a story I read on a blog.

Today, we were reading a book.

A good, old-fashioned book.

To read the entire chapter took about twenty minutes. The kids were sitting on hard, wooden chairs, listening the entire time, laughing at certain spots. The humor was subtle and the story slow. The author included long, descriptive passages to capture the scene, and they stayed engaged the entire time.

Then I closed the book until tomorrow’s lunch, we cleaned up the dishes, and guess where we are now?

Well, I’ve logged on to finish this post, and the kids are playing a game online.

There’s not an easy answer here, not for us, not right now.

Somehow, I hope to find a balance.

But I will say this:

If something’s going to give, if we have to cut something out of their lives…

it ain’t gonna be the books.

Friday’s Food: Crock-Thoughts

I’ve been having fun digging down into “A Year of Crockpotting.” This gal, Stephanie, resolved to use her crockpot every day for a year. She’s up to day 207.

She posts the day’s recipe with instructions and photos along with her verdict on the outcome with humor and honesty.

The whole idea is hilarious.

And genius.

I mean, it landed her a spot on Rachael Ray. If that’s not genius food blogging, I don’t know what is.

Stephanie’s blog-concept got me thinking about how much I appreciate the crockpot. As you may know, I already use it frequently to cook steel cut oatmeal overnight.

But I don’t use it for our main meal all that often. I’ve come to realize that one of the reasons I dislike cooking dinner is the stress of having all the elements come together at just the right moment to serve the hungry crowd.

If, however, I have even just one part of the meal burbling in the crockpot–appetizer, main dish, side dish, dessert (you name it, Stephanie’s had it burbling in her crock)–I can clean up from that and focus on what’s left without so much anxiety. I could be fixing a nice little salad, or preparing some vegetables, or relaxing in the living room with friends, enjoying l’aperitif. 

Such freedom!

The thought of increased efficiency in food-preparation inspired me. I pulled out some frozen chicken breasts and made this: Sweet and Sassy Crockpot Chicken.

I didn’t have the ingredients for several enticing recipes from Stephanie’s site; but, energized by her creativity, I searched for an alternative using what I had on hand. Sweet and Sassy Crockpot Chicken fit my limitations.

The verdict: Sweet and Sassy Crockpot Chicken was easy to prepare and tasty. The Belgian Wonder didn’t rave about it, but said that he liked it. Besides, he’s so practical and understated, I don’t know that he’d rave about anything food related.

I did note that he helped himself to a second serving.

Eldest daughter said, “Definitely make it again!”

Vive le crockpot!

Thankful Thursday

Prairie Prologue reminded me that it’s Thankful Thursday. She linked to the carnival hub at Sting My Heart.

So I pause, in my thinking and learning and reading and writing and cleaning and planning, to give thanks:

• Laughter from upstairs. Two children putting dresses on stuffed animals.
• Neighborhood swimming pool. Having one’s own pool sounds like a lot of fun, but sharing the cost with neighbors and knowing there are lifeguards on duty is a mighty fine alternative.
• Books, books, books! Whether I’m enjoying the story of a fiction book or ideas and information from nonfiction, I’m grateful for books…and for the people who write and publish them.
• Blogs. What did we bloggers do before there were blogs? I guess we journaled. Or we just kept all of those words bottled up inside {shudder}.
• Modern Medicine. Eleven years ago, Belgian doctors accurately diagnosed and operated on The Belgian Wonder, saving his life after his aortic valve was destroyed by a bacterial infection. Today, strangely, his brother-in-law is in the same Belgian hospital, while doctors treat a dangerous infection in his leg. We also await the outcome of a friend’s cancer treatment. As we wait and pray, we’re grateful that God has allowed for advances in antibiotics and other technology and medicines–some of the many means by which surgeons and doctors can treat illness and disease.
• Dishwasher. Although we could live without a dishwasher and wash our plates and cups by hand, I’m still grateful to have the helping hand of our machine. We were able to find a water- and energy-efficient model, reducing my guilt at the frequent loading and unloading we deal with some days.
• Washing Machine. While we could certainly wash dishes by hand, I shudder to imagine washing clothes by hand. I know it can be done and was done for millenia and is done in other countries even now, but wow. I guess I’m a spoiled, soft, American housewife. The thought of washing by hand–such a lot of work! I’m so grateful to be able to run the clothes through the machine (which also happens to be an energy- and water-efficient model, by the way).
• Clothesline. I really like hanging clothes to dry during the summer months. We’ve strung a clothesline between a tree and the swingset, and I can hang up three loads a day if I need to. I love heading out there with the basket loaded down, our happy dog padding along beside me and flopping down to chew on a stick while I clip our T-shirts and shorts onto the line. It’s quiet. I ponder and pray.
• Bibles. The fact that I can use the plural to write that word is something to be grateful for. In some countries, to have a complete copy of the book of John to study would be marvelous. I have all 66 books of the Bible in more than one version! I have my main Bible, and another that is broken down into portions to read through in a year. And I have a small one that was a gift to me years ago that can fit in a purse. And I have the King James version I bought for myself when I was in junior high. And the Living Bible that I bought after I didn’t understand the King James. So many translations to choose from–all in my own home. I am so thankful to have such extravagant access to the written word of God. I should be poring over it.
• Food. Following news of the global food crisis leaves me grateful to have enough money to buy supplies at the grocery. 
• Goodwill. The store, as well as the attitude. The Goodwill store has been the first place I stop when we’re interested in shopping for clothes or household items. Sometimes we turn up a single blouse or an interesting tray for the kitchen. However, every once in a while, we hit the jackpot. So, whoever donated the queen-sized purple Pottery Barn crinkle puff bedspread–I could kiss you! Thanks, also, for the coordinating summer-weight quilt. And the purple floor lamp. You helped me affordably redecorate the shared bedroom of two girls who longed for that exact quilt.
• All that I need for life and godliness. A friend of mine reminded me of this verse found in 2 Peter (1:3): “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” It’s been so true that just at the right time I’ll be given some word or some reminder that will answer the cry of my heart or a deep questioning of my soul. His divine power has given me everything I need for life and godliness…through my knowledge of Him. 

It’s a good exercise, to stop and be thankful. To turn to the Giver of all good gifts and give thanks.

Merci beaucoups, mon Dieu, L’Eternel, Seigneur Jesus.

For more thankfulness overflowing on the Internet, visit Sting My Heart.

15 Everyday Ideas to Borrow from the French (and Belgians)

While in Europe, I informally interviewed some relatives about differences between American and French (and Belgian) women. The conversation was intriguing, and we ended up generating clothing styles and eating habits that I can share with you here.

By incorporating these simple, practical ideas into our lives, we may end up feeling just a little more European:

• Shoes: French and Belgian women never wear athletic shoes unless they’re actually in a gym working out. For everyday wear, they might consider city-style sneakers designed with gold or darker colors, but not actual running or cross-training shoes like we do.
• Dress Up a Notch: By typical American standards, European women dress up even to run errands. The thought of dashing out in a pair of sweats to get something at the store would be unheard of. They won’t necessarily don their skirts and heels (though maybe in Paris), but they’ll probably have on decent slacks and dark shoes. This summer trip I was seeing everybody in vacation clothes rather than everyday clothes: they wore long shorts, capris, sandals and cute flip-flops.
• Simple Wardrobe: Although Belgian and French women tend to dress up more than their American counterparts, they don’t own an abundance of clothes. Instead, they have a few nice things, most of which will complement each other in some way, and make the most of what they have. This may be driven by the fact that their closet and storage space is generally more limited than what a typical American home would offer. Also, clothes are more expensive there than here. Or, perhaps they realize what we have yet to learn–that more is not always better.
• Basic Black: Not all, but a lot of French and Belgian women really do like black as a wardrobe staple. It might be the background color of a dress, or one article of clothing (the blouse, the pants) worn with something patterned, but black is a color to depend on. I wore a long grayish dress with a black shrug and black shiny flip-flops and received several comments from my French brother-in-law that I’d achieved a very French “look” with that outfit.
• The Scarf: Every time I travel to Europe, I’m struck by how often I see scarves on women. In cooler temperatures, they wrap pretty winter scarves around their necks and often leave the scarves on even if they take off their jackets. In spring and summer, they tie a stylish scarf around their necks employing a variety of creative twists and ties. I wrote about this in another post and linked to a site with knot-instructions. Here’s that scarf-tying link yet again.
• Perfume: My sister-in-law explained that French women always have a spritz of perfume on and like to comment on each other’s scents. “Oh, that’s a nice perfume–it smells tropical.” “Yes, it’s my summer scent.” I’m allergic to so many perfume scents that I gave up wearing it long ago. After talking with my sister-in-law, however, I’m tempted to go out and try to find something that doesn’t give me migraines, just so I can smile and say demurely, “Why, thank you…that hint of honeysuckle you picked up on is my summer scent, reminding me of my childhood growing up in the countryside.”
• Unfussy Hair: The hairstyles of French and Belgian women look sharp, but not fussy. One sister-in-law said, “Even for a nice event, they’ll just pull their hair back with a barrette, stick a few clips in and be done with it. It’s simple, but they always look great.”
• Matching Fancy “Under Things”: My brother-in-law wasn’t sure it would be appropriate to bring up, but he remarked that French women like to match their under garments with their clothes. How he knew this, I’m not entirely sure, unless he’s going with what his wife has reported. But talk about attention to detail–I’m told that French women talk freely with their female colleagues about their totally matching outfits. A red blouse simply must have matching red lace underneath.
• Guilt-Free Treats: A French woman feels free to treat herself to a nice pastry at breakfast or a chocolate dessert completely guilt-free. She exercises restraint in that she won’t wolf down a dozen donuts, but she doesn’t deprive herself from simple pleasures like a small chocolate mousse. She eats it while sitting down and without being hurried in the least.
• Daily Soup (Belgian): Belgians have soup every day for lunch. It’s a cultural habit. Healthy, too.
• Aperitif: At 6:30 p.m. in a French home, it’s time for l’aperitif, the French cocktail hour. Some alcohol is served with something as simple as peanuts or as involved as creatively prepared appetizer-style snacks. Someone might make martinis or other mixed drinks. When I mentioned that I’m not much of a mixed-drink person, the French relatives assured me that sodas and fruit juices are an appropriate option, as well.
• Le Gouter: French women don’t snack between meals, but most do enjoy le gouter, a snack taken between 4 and 6. This New York Times article does a nice job describing it to Americans. Le gouter is a good time for the French woman to enjoy her guilt-free chocolate croissant, some yogurt, fruit, or a biscuit (cookie).
• Yogurt & Cheese Course: The French enjoy a cheese course with their meals that may replace the dessert or be served just before the dessert. The French love their yogurt, too. Because French women don’t drink milk, this is a way to get some easier-to-digest calcium into their diet.
• Hostess Gift: When a French or Belgian is invited to someone’s house for dinner, it’s customary to take a cake, pie, box of chocolates or some nice flowers and a bottle of wine as a hostess gift. Whether or not it’s customary in the states, it sure sounds like a fun idea to me.
• Mushroom-hunting: My sister-in-law in France said she was amazed at what a big deal mushroom hunting is there. Women will head off in their high heels with bags in hand to aller aux champignons, to go in search of mushrooms. I’m a little fearful of incorporating this into my life simply to feel more European. I mean, I don’t know a deadly mushroom from a morel. I think this is one custom I’ll leave to the French women in their completely matching outfits and nice shoes.

So. There you go:  Ideas straight from the experience and observations of my Belgian/French relatives for how you, too, can incorporate small changes into your life to feel a little more European.

Everything but the matching undergarments and mushroom-hunting works for me.

For other more straightforward solutions to everyday problems, visit Works For Me Wednesday. They’ll be so much more helpful.

What’s Your Family Culture?

You might think I’m asking if you use cloth napkins and dress up for dinner; but I don’t necessarily mean “culture” in the “cultured” sense of the word (though that could be part of your answer).

And by “culture,” I’m not asking if your husband is Ecuadorian or Italian; though that, too, could be part of your family culture.

When a friend of mine once said that every family has a “family culture,” I assumed he was referring to his family’s background (he grew up in New Zealand and his wife grew up in Australia; we met them in America) and ours (with The Belgian Wonder adding a dash of European culture to our family unit).

But he explained that he meant it in a broader sense to include values, interests, hobbies, and personalities.

Every family has a unique family culture.

Interesting.

He got me to thinking about our own little family:

What are my family’s values and what’s the “feel” of our household? In what activities or items do we invest our time and money?

As I thought about it, I used this same friend’s family as an example to try describing a family culture.

For one thing, they all greatly value music. They’ve invested in instruments and lessons and even make music together as a family.

They love creative problem-solving. One time they pulled out a mind map that they’d drawn to solve some organizational problems that had stumped his wife. Using the mind map (what? You don’t know what a mind map is? Here’s an example–not my friend’s, but a colorful example), they explored several details in their lives and resolved the issues. I admired the artwork and out-of-the-box solutions they’d landed on using this approach.

They also love to cook, and every time we visited, we learned so much about putting together a simple, fun and delicious meal.

All of that was part of their family culture.

We know other families that love movies and entertainment so much that they’ve invested a lot in their equipment and viewing area; we know others who minimize technology in their home and don’t even own a television. Each of these choices reveals something of that family’s culture.

We know strict families and relaxed families; formal and informal families. Some eat together at a specified time in the family room, while others lounge on chairs in the family room with the television turned on. Still others don’t like to cook or take time to eat when they could be doing something fun, so they just grab food and eat on the run.

Some love the outdoors or sports and get out hiking at a park or playing touch football in the back yard. Others prefer to be inside playing cards, Risk, and Wii.

It’s kind of fun to think about families we know and appreciate the things that make them unique. Over the years, I’ve often thought about this idea of “Family Culture.”

In fact, I started to wonder if this was my friend’s original idea, or if he heard it someplace else.

So I did a search and came up with this result apparently presented by people in the field of family counseling. Consider the questions they put together to try identifying your own or other people’s family culture:

What are the Primary Areas of Family Culture?

If we are to be family culture competent, we need to find out how a family operates. Among others, we look at the following areas of focus:

• What parents like most about their children (looking for parent preferences and differences).
• We ask what their goals are – what life would look like if things were better.
• We ask parents what their goals for their children are.
• We find out about what they see as their biggest accomplishments.
• We find out what makes them happy.
• We ask what their favorite memories of their families are.
• We find out how the parent is a parent – what they see their best qualities as.
• We find out if the family has special rules.
• We discover who their friends are, who they call when they need help or want to talk, and who they consider to be supportive.
• We find out how the family has fun, what they prefer to do.
• We ask about traditions or cultural events that they participate in, and how they do this.
• We find out about special values or beliefs that they learned from their parents or others.
• We ask about their connections to the faith community or if and how they worship.

Using these types of questions, can you step back and look at your own family as an anthropologist or family counselor might, trying to understand and appreciate your family culture?

By understanding our own family culture, I have felt more confident with who we are and what we do or don’t do.

I find it easier to explain our choices to others.

And when we have a pretty good idea of our own family culture, we can understand why we struggle with certain things, make certain decisions, and where we may need to stretch ourselves to try something new.

I’ve also found that trying to discern other families’ “cultures” helps us to get an idea of where they’re coming from. I can begin to appreciate and respect their choices–or at least understand their choices–even when they’re far different from my own.

I find the concept of Family Culture a helpful tool for greater compassion toward others, and when I’m traveling and staying with people, taking time to consider that family’s culture can help me gently merge with them for the time that we’re overlapping under one roof.

So.

What do you think is your family culture?

A Belated “Au Revoir, Europe!”

I wrote this not long after we got home from our trip, but we got so busy with laundry and birthdays that I forgot to click “Publish.” I’ve been back for a while, but I’ll post it anyway. For fun:

Several months ago, as we were buying our tickets for the trip, we hesitated purchasing the flight that went to and from Luxembourg, even though it was cheapest. But our in-laws assured us that it would be fine; they were happy to pick us up when we arrived, and deliver us there when we had to leave. It’s an easy two-hour drive from Brussels.

Originally, we thought we would be back in Belgium the day before we left. However, due to a scheduling change, we were still in Holland the day before we needed to be at the Luxembourg airport. The drive from Holland to Luxembourg would take approximately four hours.

One idea tossed out was to leave Holland on Sunday night, drive to Luxembourg, and find a place to spend the night in order to be right there by the airport, ready to leave Monday morning.

The alternative was to leave Holland at 4:00 a.m. and drive directly there.

At some point, someone decided we should stay in Holland until the last minute, soaking in every moment of family togetherness. They would drive us to Luxembourg in the morning.

Therefore, we woke up at 3:50 a.m. on Monday, lugged the suitcases to the van in a sleepy stupor, dragged the kids out of bed, and after taking time to load everyone and everything, we headed out later than we planned, more like 4:40 a.m.

En route, we made two pitstops, one at a gas station. Although the tank was kind of low, we didn’t buy gas. People driving toward Luxembourg wait until they cross the border, because gas is cheaper there.

We drove. And drove. The gas gauge sank lower and lower. The gas light came on the dashboard and chimed a warning bell at us. We needed to fill up, but the freeway offered us no options. We’d have to exit and hopefully find one heading toward some kind of civilization.

We turned off the freeway and headed toward Bastogne, location of the Battle of the Bulge, but found no gas stations on the way. Things were getting a little desperate, but nobody was admitting it out loud at that point.

We continued toward the Bastogne city center, worried we were going to end up pushing the van over to Luxembourg. The city looked picturesque, but obviously we couldn’t stop to enjoy the scenery, so I simply snapped this through the van’s windshield while we were in motion:

We were feeling a little desperate, so it was awkward to be touristy. Still, I snapped a picture of the Sherman tank permanently on display in the center of town next to a statue of someone famous, maybe McAuliffe (see the little bust to the left of the tank?), as we circled around a second and third time, in search of a gas station:

Sightseeing while that low on gasoline is not recommended or even possible, by the way.

We stopped a businessman getting into his car and asked where we could find a gas station. He answered in French, “You’re right by the Luxembourg border–just go a little bit farther down the freeway.” Why buy gas in Bastogne when you can cross the border and get the cheaper Luxembourg gas? He didn’t know we were idling next to him on wisps of gasoline fumes. We insisted we needed to find a local station, as close as possible. He pointed back to the city center and down the one road we hadn’t tried.

Thanks to the kind gentleman, we found a station at long last on the outskirts of town!

We held our breath until we slid in next to a pump. Whew! We made it!

That’s when we all admitted our concerns.

While we were filling up, we saw this interesting old race car up on a trailer, perhaps used in a parade:

Now that we could relax about the gasoline, we started to wonder if we would miss the plane. Traffic was heavier than expected, and as I already pointed out, we’d started out a little later than planned.

Thankfully we got there in time.

We waved goodbye to the Belgian Wonder’s wonderful parents as tears puddled in our eyes. The Boy looked up at me after we hugged them and said, “I’ll probably cry on the airplane.” He was blinking several times and his nose was a little red.

Goodbyes are so hard. We never know when we’ll see them next.

Usually it’s several years.

We headed through security and blew kisses one last time to Grandma and Grandpa, then turned a corner to pass through another checkpoint.

We settled onto some benches, and I noted the writing on the airport window:

The reason I took a photo of it, is that when I first sat down, still a little groggy from waking up at 3:30 in the morning and yet agitated from the gasoline crisis, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I wondered why it said “AEROPORT DELUXE”? Deluxe airport? It didn’t seem so fancy to me. I stared at it for a few seconds before seeing the real phrase, “AEROPORT DE LUXEMBOURG.” Ah. Now I see.

Then they called for us to board, and we began our long voyage home.

How Does Traveling Affect Your Personal Devotions?

When we boarded one of our flights on the way back, I noticed a man in First Class with his eyes closed, mouth moving, murmuring. On his tray was a liturgical book of some kind with lots of colorful ribbons marking pages.

I glanced at my watch and wondered, “What would he be praying? Vespers?” And I was impressed at his devotional commitment. This guy probably prayed whenever and wherever he was…obviously he prayed on the plane as soon as he settled in. Would he stop and pray while waiting in line at the Eiffel Tower? While on a ride at Disneyworld? While driving to the beach?

And Ann V. at Holy Experience recently traveled to Paris, with her deep, contemplative soul soaking in every moment at a prayerful level. I read her posts, smiled, and sighed.

And then I looked at myself and wished I’d been more consistent with my own devotions on the long trip.

It got me wondering, What do other people do? What is their prayer life like on the go? Do they keep their prayer journal going every day and stick with their Scripture reading schedule?

With so many people taking summer vacations and business trips, I think we would benefit from reading each other’s stories. So I’m suggesting a blog carnival:

How does traveling affect your personal devotions?

Do you adapt them for the trip in some way? Do you change anything or follow the same pattern and schedule, regardless of the day’s plans?

You can write up a post at your site and put the link in the comments. As they roll in, I’ll edit this post to put them in a prominent spot in the text.

Or you can just go ahead and describe your experience in the comments.

Consider some of the following variables for us to best appreciate your response:

1. Give us an idea of your own personality (are you a disciplined person by nature, or a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants spontaneous and flexible person?).
2. Briefly explain your what you ordinarily do at home (do you have a special spot, a stack of books, an elaborate colored-pencil method of study and marking up texts?).
3. Describe your last trip(s). Did you take an organized tour with a group of people? Was it a low-key beach vacation with family, or a fast-paced sightseeing tour of big cities? Did you travel by plane, train or automobile? How long was it? With kids or solo? Business or pleasure?
4. What were your personal devotions like on that trip?
5. How important is it to you to keep them up while traveling?

You don’t have to answer all or any of those questions, but giving us an idea of your circumstances will help us better appreciate and envision your struggles and successes.

Please share your stories, insights, ups and downs.

UPDATED: See comments for insights and stories.